I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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