is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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