Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
