I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
