One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
