You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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