I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's blow job season.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
