Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
