There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
