I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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