Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
