I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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