I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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