So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
