yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize