i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
