Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
