I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
