elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
