A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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