I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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