i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
