Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
