i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize