she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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