I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
