Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
