ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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