First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize