I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
