Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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