I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
