Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You made out with two different species that night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
