I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
