3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
