I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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