i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
