I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize