So gin and wine won't be happening again
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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