I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
