(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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