it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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