I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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