Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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