You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
