At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
