I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
