she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
