Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
