My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
