Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
