there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
