i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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