Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
