eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
