you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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