I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
