It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
