i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Mom said you looked used
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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